MARVIN GAYHEAD'S FASHION PREVIEW
by "Marvellous" Marvin Gayhead

Fashion Guru Marvin Gayhead

Say what you will about the fashion press, but I'm here to tell you that I know what's hot and what's not! I spend entire days spying on men in the fitting room of the suit shop that I work in. When I'm not masturbating to NAMBLA's pic of the week I criticize fashion in the same way Roger Ebert is so quick to give a thumb's up to Sly Stallone's new movie "Driven." Believe me, I know fashion and I want to tell you about this season's picks. Follow this short check list for the next couple of months and you're sure to be oggled by everyone from construction workers to gay disco dancers...ooooohhh, what a thought! I had a vision while I was blitzed out of my skull on some designer drug I happened upon the night before at the "Male Box" when a hulking sweaty UPS man delivered my buttless chaps I had ordered online. Brown is it!

Brown Pants: IN

Brown Slacks: IN

Brown Hats: OUT

Brown Pants with White socks: DEFINITELY OUT

Brown Pants with blue suede shoes: SO IN IT HURTS

Brown Pants with a shirt made out of dried up leaves: COULD GO EITHER WAY

Brown Pants with a mustard yellow shirt: IN

Brown Pants with a black velvet bathrobe: PLEEEASE! OUT!!!

Brown Pants with a belt tied around your ankles: OUT

White pants with brown stains: IN, but watch that smell, pardner!

Brown Pants with a cowboy hat and a toy monkey: IN

Brown Pants with anything Versace: BLahhhahhRGH!!! Grossout!!!

Buttless Chaps: IN IN IN

Marvin Gayhead's Final Tally: DON'T BE A CLOWN, WHERE BROWN AROUND TOWN!!